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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24401443">You, Me, and Mikhail Bakunin</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/chuusei_teki_na_koe/pseuds/chuusei_teki_na_koe'>chuusei_teki_na_koe</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Persona 5: The Royal Spoilers, Political Humor, Terrible Dirty Talk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:15:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,887</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24401443</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/chuusei_teki_na_koe/pseuds/chuusei_teki_na_koe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Otherwise titled: injecting irritatingly unnecessary amounts of politics into mah vidya gaems</p><p>Yet another romantic dinner ruined because Akira won't stop arguing with him about the ethics of the death penalty.</p><p>Akira says it's Goro's fault because he never wants to lose an argument, but Akira just needs to admit when his rhetoric is inferior.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>109</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You, Me, and Mikhail Bakunin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>After P5R perfect ending, Akechi lives, etc. </p><p>Honestly this fic exists for the very small intersection of people who like masturbatory, America-based online political discourse, Persona 5, gay porn, and dumb lulz. Neither character's political views are a reflection of my own or even what I'd realistically feel the characters believe, don't take this seriously.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Goro didn't even realize he'd been swept along until ten minutes deep into their discussion about the death penalty. With a sigh, he picked up his wine glass and took a classy sip.</p><p>They were at a very nice restaurant for their second anniversary, and since Akira was now twenty, Goro had treated him to his first glass of decent wine. He'd definitely had convenience store crap before, but this was the legitimate stuff.</p><p>“What I'm saying is,” Akira waved his fork, his food all but forgotten at this point, “regardless of whether you think wrongdoing needs to be punished with murder, you can't trust the government with that kind of power.”</p><p>“Look,” Goro sighed, as he righteously tore apart Akira's argument for about the hundredth time that day, “I would like to live in a fantasy world with no government as much as you, but there's been no point in recorded history where such a society has ever maintained for any length of time.”</p><p>“I'm not even talking about dismantling the government, here. I'm aware that's a hypothetical argument, and not realistic.”</p><p>“You were talking about that yesterday.”</p><p>“Different argument.”</p><p>“Mm-hmm.” Another sip of his wine.</p><p>“My <em>point</em> is that it's state-sanctioned murder.”</p><p>“And solitary confinement is state-sanctioned psychological torture, but you wouldn't do away with prisons.”</p><p>“Well...”</p><p>“Oh, don't tell that to Nijima.”</p><p>Akira's eyes slid away guiltily.</p><p>Goro snorted. “This is why she blocked you on Twitter.”</p><p>“No, she blocked me because I retweeted a Youtube video titled <em>All Cops Are Bastards</em>.”</p><p>Goro, who'd been just putting some now-cold steak into mouth, choked and spurted bits of food out of his nose. It took him a moment to get himself under control, wiping the corners of his eyes with his cloth napkin. After he finally swallowed his food and took a deep breath, he said, “Never change, Akira.”</p><p>Akira seemed mildly offended by his laughter, though, huffily leaning back in his chair. “Ann likes my retweets.”</p><p>“She'll like retweets of anyone who retweets her feminist signal-boosting,” Goro said with only a slight eye roll.</p><p>“Ann is woke as fuck,” Akira agreed, as if Goro hadn't been saying that to be snide.</p><p>“At least she and I can agree on the matter of abortion,” Goro said with a bright smile. “If for very different reasons.”</p><p>Akira took a moment to get it. The tiniest snort came out of his nose, and his lips twitched before firmly turning downward in a stern look. “That's not funny.”</p><p>“You're laughing.”</p><p>“I'm not laughing,” Akira said, but he was definitely laughing.</p><p>“I don't know how you don't alienate all your friends, despite being the most politically obnoxious person I know.” When they'd first gotten together, Akira hadn't talked this much. Goro wasn't sure what had happened. Maybe it was the influence of that Yoshida guy Akira liked to hang around. Or maybe, Goro sometimes liked to think, Akira just felt more comfortable around him now.</p><p>“I only argue with you,” Akira shook his head. “With everyone else, I just sort of...listen, and push. People respond when you set an example. Doing the right thing and being kind and generous will win over even the deepest of cynics.”</p><p>“Oh god, there you go again...” Goro leaned his face onto his hand.</p><p>“I mean, haven't I? Won over the deepest of cynics, I mean.” Akira winked flirtatiously. Goro found that both deeply annoying and also privately kind of cute.</p><p>“Not quite.”</p><p>“I mean, it's true you are still...” he paused, then made a pained expression, “...a libertarian.”</p><p>“You say that like it's a bad thing.” Goro grinned and went for his steak again.</p><p>“I'll fix you, one day.”</p><p>“Feel free to keep trying.”</p><p>“Oh, I will.” Akira finally started going back to his pilaf. “I mean, I have a pretty good track record. I got Futaba and Ryuji to vote for Yoshida.”</p><p>“Convincing Sakamoto to do anything is like convincing a dog to sit with a biscuit,” Goro said dryly. “Sakura is just as insane as you are. And after all that effort you spent on Kitagawa, he still refused to vote at all, in the end.”</p><p>Akira sagged in his seat, expression glum. “He took home his ballot for an art project instead of submitting it. He said he was making a statement.”</p><p>Goro snickered at him. “How did you do with Okumura?”</p><p>“Oh, I got her to vote for Yoshida easy,” Akira said smugly. “The issue is trying to get her to turn Okumura Foods into a cooperative enterprise. Sadly, she has views typical to the liberal elite, and still believes in the benevolent capitalist fantasy.”</p><p>“Uh-huh.” Goro finished off his steak. “Good luck with that.”</p><p>Akira shot him a look. “What. You think I can't do it?”</p><p>“On the contrary, I'm terrified at the thought that you can.”</p><p>Leaning his cheek on his hand on the table, Akira gave him the broadest, most shameless grin. “You're scared 'cause I'm right.”</p><p>Goro spent just a second appreciating Akira's smile before shooting back, “Did you forget the last time I destroyed you with facts and logic?”</p><p>“I swear, if you say <em>destroyed with facts and logic</em> one more time, I'm going to change our relationship status on Facebook to <em>its complicated</em>.”</p><p>“Isn't that our status right now? I mean, since I bought that copy of <em>Twelve Rules For Life</em>.”</p><p>“Nghh, don't remind me, or I might have to ban you from sex for a year.”</p><p>“You already did, and you couldn't handle it.”</p><p>Akira opened his mouth, then closed it.</p><p>“Anyway,” Goro set his fork down. “To summarize your arguments on the death penalty: The government can't be trusted with the authority, mistakes will inevitably be made, it's not effective as a deterrent. To which I have countered, all you can do is have a system with checks and balances to be made as fair as possible, the mistakes are unfortunate but still worthwhile, and that the point is not deterrent, but punishment. Our disagreement,” Goro pointed at him, “is in that your goal is reformative, while mine is punitive. We simply don't have values that align on that issue.”</p><p>Akira scowled, leaned back in his chair, then forward again, clearly racking his brains trying to come up with a fair counterargument. Finally, he said, “Would you say the same thing if...” he paused, and lowered his voice to a volume only Goro would be able to hear, “If you were the one about to get it?”</p><p>“Yes,” Goro answered without hesitation. “You know that. I would never bend my ideals based on personal emotion.”</p><p>Akira's eyes flicked up at Goro, then looked down at the table. “You totally have.”</p><p>“That's exactly why I wouldn't do it again.”</p><p>Akira's gaze didn't leave the table. “Is it such a bad thing to make an emotional judgment on decisions like that?”</p><p>Goro shot him a dark look. “I think we both know someone who was like that. Someone who based his idea of <em>the right thing</em> off empathy and emotional reasoning.”</p><p>Akira finally looked straight at him, and this time, his gaze was defiant. “So you'd have me throw you under the bus to service your sense of punitive justice, huh?”</p><p>“Why ask questions you already know the answer to?” Goro finished off his wine. “You've placed ideals over my life before, you can do it again.”</p><p>Akira didn't say anything to that. He just went silent. When Goro looked over at him, saying, “What?” he looked away.</p><p>“We're done eating, I should ask for the bill,” Akira said instead, and Goro decided to drop it.</p><p>x x x</p><p>Akira was sullen on the train ride home, and Goro let him be. Akira would never talk about what was bothering him unless you asked, and generally, if you just left him alone, he'd get over it on his own soon enough. Goro didn't really like Akira prodding into his innermost feelings, and he figured he'd offer Akira the same courtesy.</p><p>But he had to admit that it did bother him a bit to have Akira being obviously mopey. When they got back to the apartment they shared, Akira went straight to the bedroom to read for a while.</p><p>Fortunately, Morgana wasn't there. Initially, Akira had insisted on living with him, but Goro would fucking lose his mind living with that cat 24-7, it was like, <em>Akira, can you even fucking function without having that cat in your bag every minute of the fucking day,</em> and finally, Ann had agreed to take him part of the time. Morgana seemed very happy about the arrangement, and Goro got to be alone with Akira.</p><p>If Morgana had been there, he would certainly have blamed Goro for Akira's mood and not left Goro alone until he confessed what he did wrong. There was a reason why Goro didn't want that damn cat in his damn apartment all the damn time.</p><p>Anyway.</p><p>Goro settled down to work on his computer in his home office, but thinking about how Akira was probably still sulking, he couldn't concentrate, so he rolled away from his computer with a sigh and went to the bedroom.</p><p>Akira was there, leaning against the headboard reading, dressed like a big old slob in his sweatpants and an old shirt as he read. He didn't look up from his book.</p><p>Goro wasn't going to start a <em>conversation,</em> no, that would be giving in. He just wanted to have Akira there in the corner of his eye, so he wasn't annoyed thinking about it. He picked up his own reading material off the bedside table—that copy of <em>Twelve Rules for Life</em> that had caused a week's worth of debates, which ironically Akira had finished reading first just because he wanted to be able to argue against it properly—and sat down on the bed beside Akira, leaning against the head of the bed as well. His eyes flicked over to Akira's reading choice. It was titled, <em>God and the State.</em> Good grief. ...Not like Goro was curious about that one, or anything.</p><p>They both read in silence for a while, and Goro was pretty into his book when Akira suddenly said, “I won't throw you under the bus, you know?”</p><p>“Hmm?” Goro didn't look up from his book, but he was listening.</p><p>“I know you think it's stupid, and I'll probably never change your mind. But I'm always on your side.”</p><p>Goro looked up now, opening his mouth, but Akira cut him off with a shake of his head as he set his own book down. “That time, I was only able to make that decision because you said my hesitation was a betrayal. In the end, it was just emotional reasoning, all the way down.” He looked down at his lap, then leaned his head against Goro's shoulder. “And I can't guarantee that next time, I wouldn't make a decision that wouldn't infuriate you. But my loyalty is to you, no matter what. And you can argue me until you're blue in the face, but I know I'm right.”</p><p>Goro sighed. It was kind of hard to shoot a guy down for swearing eternal fidelity to you. And he didn't really want to. He kind of perversely wanted Akira to wildly disagree with him on these things. He kind of preferred it when Akira wildly disagreed with him on everything.</p><p>He wasn't going to say any of this, though, and he knew Akira didn't expect it. Maybe Goro would say it, one day.</p><p>“Didn't we agree last week that there would be no politics on our anniversary?” Goro said, finally.</p><p>“I think we both knew that was a promise we were going to break.”</p><p>“A promise <em>you</em> were going to break, you mean.”</p><p>“You broke it when you argued back.”</p><p>“I think you need something to shut that mouth of yours,” Goro shot back.</p><p>“Are you offering?”</p><p>“I would, but alas, you banned me from sex for a year,” Goro said, looking at Akira with his brightest cinnamon roll smile.</p><p>“I mean,” Akira got a sheepish look, “it's not like we put that to a vote, so I wouldn't call that the will of the people.”</p><p>“All right then,” Goro got to his knees on the bed, kneeling in front of Akira, and he popped open his fly, pushed down his slacks a little and started slowly rubbing himself to hardness. “Let's take a vote. Shall Akira Kurusu suck my dick? All in favor, say, aye. Aye,” Goro raised his own hand, then he grabbed the book Akira was reading, glanced at the cover, and said, “Aye,” in an exaggerated gruff voice. “Mr. Bakunin here also votes for you to suck my dick. Looks like you're overruled, Akira. Will of the people.” And then Goro grabbed him by the hair and shoved his cock in Akira's mouth.</p><p>Akira's mouth sank hungrily down over his length, and Goro buried both his hands in Akira's hair, forcing him to take everything. Akira didn't fight it at all, opening his throat to obediently bob his head over Goro's dick.</p><p>“Look at this, Akira,” Goro said idly, a sadistic smirk on his face as he watched Akira do what he did best, “And you said that capitalists don't create jobs. But here we are.”</p><p>Akira's throat spasmed around Goro's dick, eyes watering. Was he choking, or laughing? Hard to tell.</p><p>“And for such a persistent anarchist, you sure do seem to enjoy hierarchy in the bedroom.” He yanked Akira's head back by his hair, watching as Akira choked a bit, lips flushed, before looking up at Goro. The trail of drool coming off his lip was absolutely lovely. “Don't you find that a wee bit hypocritical?”</p><p>Akira blinked back at him a moment distracted by lust, before finally gathering himself to say, “Uh, no. It's not the same thing.”</p><p>“Oh?” Goro leaned over Akira's shoulder to place his lips by Akira's ear, pausing for a long, full moment where he just let his hot breath fall over Akira's neck before he whispered, “I think we both know you just want to get fucked like a whore in the middle of the marketplace of ideas.”</p><p>And then, before Akira even had time to retort, Goro moved aside so he could fling Akira down on the bed and yank down his sweatpants and boxers together. A pump from the bottle of lube on the nightstand, and Goro's fingers were in his ass, sliding back in forth in a not-so-delicate manner.</p><p>“So how about it, Akira,” Goro said, tone light and humoring. “Do you want my capitalist cock?”</p><p>Akira was already jacking his cock as Goro finger-fucked him, arching his back toward Goro. “N-no, fuck the system, man.” Akira's voice was muffled as he buried his face in the blankets, and this time, Goro was certain he was smothering laughter.</p><p>“Say it, proletariat,” Goro swung back to smack him in the ass. “Say you want to get fucked by capitalism.”</p><p>Practically sobbing into the pillow now, he was laughing so hard, Akira finally took a big gasp of air to say, “I mean, do I really have a choice about getting fucked by capitalism?”</p><p>“Nope.” And Goro grabbed both his hips and slammed into him roughly.</p><p>Akira cried out, head lifting off the pillow as Goro exploited his ass like the labor of the workers. The sound of wet smacking and Akira's moans filled the room, ridiculous dirty talk forgotten in the lust of the moment. Goro pulled out just briefly, rolling Akira onto his side so he could fuck him in a different position, pushing both his legs to one side to enter him again.</p><p>One arm around a pillow, the other on his own cock, Akira looked back at him with a naughty grin, faced flushed. “I thought I was gonna get fucked by capitalism, not gently made love to by capitalism.”</p><p>Goro smacked his ass again, making him yelp. “The workers are not to rise up.”</p><p>“The workers have had a rise on for a while now,” Akira said in that breathy way that told Goro he was about to cum.</p><p>“Don't tell me you're actually getting off to this.”</p><p>“Next time, you can read Kropotkin to me while you make me bounce on a dildo.”</p><p>“I would rather die, you sick little pervert.”</p><p>Akira came then, of all times, rocking back against Goro's dick as he came into his hand. With the intense concentration that helped him maintain his 4.0 GPA, Goro blocked out every stupid fucking thing Akira said after that so that he could actually cum himself, shoving deep to fill Akira up.</p><p>“Not bad,” Akira said when Goro pulled out. Akira had a terrible cat-got-the-cream grin on his face that very much suited the line of cum dripping out of his ass. “But at the end of the day, nothing gets me hard like Daddy Marx. Even your capitalist cock just can't compare...”</p><p>This joke had gone much too far. Of course, Goro had no one to blame but himself for playing along. Being around Akira definitely killed brain cells.</p><p>“I'm burning all your books.” Goro said flatly, swiping Akira's book off the bed to toss it across the room.</p><p>“Nooo, Bakunin!”</p>
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